Staff Letters: Phil

I find that people are ever more sticking large telephone poles up their ass. If I say "hey that's a dumb idea" it doesn't mean "hey you're a dumbfuck" it means "hey that's a dumb idea." Why are people so fucking high and mighty that they can't accept they might have a dumb fucking idea? I have dumb fucking ideas all the time and only about half the time do people have the balls to go "hey that's a dumb fucking idea"... and that's retarded.

And the same goes for people's tastes. If you buy a David Hasselhoff CD and I go "he's horrible!" that doesn't mean all musical tastes you have suck and you should be condemned to hell, it means I think David Hasselhoff sucks. Why should you get offended? I like David Hasselhoff's acting and people have no problem telling me I'm a moron for that.

This is a problem I'm running into with more and more people every day. People take shit too personally and too seriously. Chill the fuck out people, you're not that fucking important that I'm insulting your dumb ass. You can have dumb ideas, an ugly car, like girls half your age, guys twice your age, have horrible taste in scarves or shoes or pants or whatever, and still be a cool fucking person.

But what pisses me off about this more than anything is I've started not commenting more, sugar coating more, keeping my opinions to myself more... and people have gotten more offended, more whiny, and more annoying. So that's iStaff Letters: here on out, despite everyone's suggestions, I'm going back to good old me. If you ask me if I like your sweater and the answer is "not really" you're going to get "not really." If you tell me you just bought a hello kitty waffle iron I'm going to tell you that you're not 12 any more and you should move on. If you say "nuh uh sista" or "yeahuh gurlfren" and your not in a gang or uneducated enough to not know the English language I'm going to tell you to speak fucking English. If you give me a look when I interrupt you instead of saying "hey, I was talking" I'm going to tell you to grow a pair. If you change the subject when I ask you a question you don't feel like answering I'm going to call you on it and tell you how rude you are being. If you want to stick your hand in an electrical socket, I'm going to tell you your being a fucking moron. If you decide you want to sleep with some bimbo without a condom because she says she's a virgin and you've only known her for 3 weeks, I'm going to tell you your the biggest dumb piece of shit I've ever met. If you don't know that women get periods every month I'm going to tell you that your the second dumbest piece of shit I've ever met. If you think this letter means I'm in a bad mood I'm going to tell you that you're wrong but you've just put me in a bad mood. If I think you're being a tree-hugging hippie communist, I'm going to tell you that you're being a tree-hugging hippie communist. And if you call me rude, obnoxious, or annoying, I'm going to say yes.

Ya know why? Because that's who I am, that's my honest reaction, that's the truth, and that meant people got used to me or left, but I didn't have to worry about keeping my reactions inside, sugar coating for whiny people, or people whining.

That said, none of you here apply, I suspect, or you would have stopped reading my letters a long time ago.

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