Menu

Staff Letters: Phil

...I've worn out always being afraid... An endless stream of fear that I've made...

Heya folks.

How's it going?

Let's see, what's new with me? Not much. Getting ever closer to buying a Christmas gift for my girlfriend. But that's okay, because Valentine's Day and her birthday are both just around the corner! =) It's been fun trying to figure out what to buy the girl who claims to not be big on gifts and material things but can spend 4 hours in Target, and who nearly cried with joy because her favorite Target just reorganized "and it's fabulous!" Yeah... and you thought I was weird! But no, it really has been fun. It's hard and a bit stressful, but still fun.

So what's new? I finally got my motorcycle last weekend. It needs quite a bit of work, but I'm working in the evenings and it's getting done bit-by-bit. It's a 1982 Suzuki GS450.

I'm still slowly working my way through doom3 (down from playing 20-30 minutes a day to playing 15 minutes once every 3 or 4 days), keeping up with my very small portion of the linux kernel, trying to finish my tour review, trying to spend time with my ever-popular girlfriend, keep phildev.net up-to-date, keep IPOM up-to-date, try and work on a new version of iptstate, work on my motorcycle, get through the last of my current season of Buffy DVDs, finish the first season of Alias DVDs, and watch the small bit of weekly TV I like to watch. Meanwhile I haven't gotten to the gym in over a month, everywhere I turn someone asshole is trying to shove chocolate in my face (I have been given more boxes of chocolate... gah, I'll eat enough chocolate over fucking Christmas, I must be the only person in the world who really tries to watch my eating before the holidays, everyone else just talks about it, apparently. My pet peeve is people promising themselves something and completely doing the opposite... whatever happened to self control?). I have an immense amount of work to do at the office before I leave on break, and so much crap to do around the house before I leave on break.

All of that doesn't make me stressed so much... as I don't stress much. I stressed a lot over the last two weeks over one thing in particular and it was the most stress I've been under in years. But that is over. Now I just feel busy. Which is fine. I like being busy... especially because I'm usually busy in a very easy to manipulate way. If Lynn wants to spend time with me tomorrow I can move around stuff to accommodate that. It's just crap I need to get done, when it gets done is mostly immaterial, as long as it gets done. Sadly, Lynn is busy in a scheduled manner. She has friends and plans and stuff. Her roommate is ... good at making plans for the two of them. A lot of plans. She's very, very, very social. So between the two of us, our time together is usually forced and rushed. Sometimes I'm forcing time in my schedule for her, and very often she's forcing time in her schedule for me. Which makes it rough.

So yeah. Busy is the keyword there.

Thought for the month:
I find that people are ever more sticking large telephone poles up their ass. If I say "hey that's a dumb idea" it doesn't mean "hey you're a dumbfuck" it means "hey that's a dumb idea." Why are people so fucking high and mighty that they can't accept they might have a dumb fucking idea? I have dumb fucking ideas all the time and only about half the time do people have the balls to go "hey that's a dumb fucking idea"... and that's retarded.

And the same goes for people's tastes. If you buy a David Hasselhoff CD and I go "he's horrible!" that doesn't mean all musical tastes you have suck and you should be condemned to hell, it means I think David Hasselhoff sucks. Why should you get offended? I like David Hasselhoff's acting and people have no problem telling me I'm a moron for that.

This is a problem I'm running into with more and more people every day. People take shit too personally and too seriously. Chill the fuck out people, you're not that fucking important that I'm insulting your dumb ass. You can have dumb ideas, an ugly car, like girls half your age, guys twice your age, have horrible taste in scarves or shoes or pants or whatever, and still be a cool fucking person.

But what pisses me off about this more than anything is I've started not commenting more, sugar coating more, keeping my opinions to myself more... and people have gotten more offended, more whiny, and more annoying. So that's iStaff Letters: here on out, despite everyone's suggestions, I'm going back to good old me. If you ask me if I like your sweater and the answer is "not really" you're going to get "not really." If you tell me you just bought a hello kitty waffle iron I'm going to tell you that you're not 12 any more and you should move on. If you say "nuh uh sista" or "yeahuh gurlfren" and your not in a gang or uneducated enough to not know the English language I'm going to tell you to speak fucking English. If you give me a look when I interrupt you instead of saying "hey, I was talking" I'm going to tell you to grow a pair. If you change the subject when I ask you a question you don't feel like answering I'm going to call you on it and tell you how rude you are being. If you want to stick your hand in an electrical socket, I'm going to tell you your being a fucking moron. If you decide you want to sleep with some bimbo without a condom because she says she's a virgin and you've only known her for 3 weeks, I'm going to tell you your the biggest dumb piece of shit I've ever met. If you don't know that women get periods every month I'm going to tell you that your the second dumbest piece of shit I've ever met. If you think this letter means I'm in a bad mood I'm going to tell you that you're wrong but you've just put me in a bad mood. If I think you're being a tree-hugging hippie communist, I'm going to tell you that you're being a tree-hugging hippie communist. And if you call me rude, obnoxious, or annoying, I'm going to say yes.

Ya know why? Because that's who I am, that's my honest reaction, that's the truth, and that meant people got used to me or left, but I didn't have to worry about keeping my reactions inside, sugar coating for whiny people, or people whining.

That said, none of you here apply, I suspect, or you would have stopped reading my letters a long time ago.
What else? I've now seen 45 Metallica shows! Lynn was super-awesome and came to the Anaheim and San Jose shows with me. It was great to see everyone again.

That's about it. See ya'll in 2005!

Phil


GOOD

Seen 45 Metallica Shows!
Got my motorcycle!
Christmas is coming
The weather
The perfect ass


BAD

Uptight people
Overly religious people
People taking me too seriously
No time


MOVIES

Blade Trinity
Bad Santa
Blade
The Pricess Bride

OLD LETTERS

November 04 Letter
October 04 Letter
September 04 Letter
August 04 Letter
July 04 Letter
June 04 Letter
April 04 Letter
February 04 Letter
January 04 Letter
December 03 Letter
November 03 Letter
October 03 Letter
September 03 Letter
June 03 Letter
May 03 Letter
April 03 Letter
March 03 Letter
February 03 Letter
January 03 Letter
December 02 Letter
November 02 Letter
October 02 Letter
September 02 Letter
August 02 Letter
July 02 Letter
June 02 Letter
May 02 Letter
April 02 Letter
March 02 Letter
February 02 Letter
January 02 Letter
December 01 Letter
November 01 Letter
October 01 Letter
September 01 Letter
August 01 Letter
July 01 Letter
May 01 Letter
April 01 Letter
March 01 Letter
February 01 Letter
January 01 Letter
December 00 Letter
November 00 Letter
October 00 Letter
July 00 Letter
June 00 Letter
May 00 Letter
April 00 Letter
March 00 Letter
February 00 Letter
January 00 Letter
December 99 Letter
November 99 Letter
October 99 Letter
September 99 Letter
August 99 Letter
July 99 Letter
June 99 Letter



© 1997 - present Phil Dibowitz
Please read our Copyright Info